The conflict of human rights and discrimination in today’s world is a boiling pot. Displays of anger, disdain, and fear ramp up as the effects of covid and racial violence make the headlines. Family issues erupt bringing with them feelings of insecurity, instability, and hopelessness.

In this atmosphere, my emotions have run amuck. Happy one minute and angry and confused the next. The Bible says, “A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways” (James. 1:8). Makes sense when I think about it. I don’t like being unstable. Makes me feel like things are out of control.

Having to wear masks in public has produced an interesting tension in my heart. I’ve worked for years to get rid of all the hidden masks I’ve put on to cover up hurt and pain from my past. So, wearing a mask has negative emotional significance to me. Masks cause me to conform to an image that’s not who I am.

When I have to wear a mask in public it not only fogs up my glasses but hides the smiles I have for others. I don’t like either of these. I recognize the need to comply with man-made regulations because of the fear of spreading this awful disease. It’s just that a lot of it makes no sense to me and feels wrong when I can’t decide what’s best for me.

In reading Psalm 1 again this morning, I had to deal with this head on. Am I delighting in following God’s ways that verse one talks about or am I sitting in the scorner’s seat of disdain and sarcasm for what is going on around me? Am I acting like Jesus and bringing truth and love or planting seeds of discontent and discouragement?

My heart’s desire is to be the flourishing tree that stands firm in all circumstances and bears good fruit in all seasons. For that to happen, double-mindedness must go. For change to come, it’s important to focus on what makes my heart come alive.

Writing this made me think of the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz, as she melted down to nothingness moaning “What a world, what a world” as we watched. I don’t want to be the scorner melting into nothingness. I want to be a bucket of living water that saves lives, like Dorothy intended to do. So. I need to make some changes.

I have to address what I’m watching, listening to, being around, thinking and worrying about for change to come. One way I’m doing this is by talking to my friends about ways they’ve found that brings joy in their life. I’ve picked up online courses and musical instruments I set aside.

Taking the Enneagram course has helped me see what I’m best suited for has given me more capacity to prosper. Contemplating on what I want and don’t want helps me live in balance and rest.

But most of all, I have been increasing my time of fellowship with Jesus as I enter the tango of life’s uncertainties. As I do this, I’m more able to deal with everything else. I find it’s crucial for my peace and ability to live the life He paid for me.

Are you living the life you want to live? I’d love to hear your comment on how you have learned to thrive in life.